Peter Strzok’s Lament
(To the tune of “1982” by Randy Travis)
Robert Mueller, please, please grant me Full Immunity!
I’m scared of all the crooked things I did for Hillary.
Before the last Election when I was such a fool:
I should have told Obama that “Treason isn’t cool.”
For spying on Republicans, for anything we’d find.
Trashing the Fourth Amendment and their civil liberties,
While ignoring every crime and misdeed of Hillary’s.
Bob Mueller can you send me my e-mails and my texts?
I must delete the ones where Lisa Page and I talk sex.
I betrayed the Constitution, my country and my wife:
And now I know the price for Treason just might be my life.
To all slimey swamp creatures: Don’t do as I have done:
Don’t weaponize the Deep State just to tap your rival’s phone.
Betrayal becomes a habit, and one that’s hard to break:
I thought I was heroic, now I know I’m just a fake.