Interpreting Adam Schiff:
In a historically unprecedented action, President Trump released the transcript of his controversial July 25 telephone call with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. On September 26, Congressman Adam Schiff – Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee – engaged in what he called a “parody” of President Trump’s July 25 phone call to Zelensky.
It is clear that the contents of the call did not include the incriminating evidence that Schiff and other “Democrats” had hoped. In response, Schiff feigned what he called a “parody” of the transcript, and engaged in a great deal of “interpretation” of both President Trump’s motives and the explicit text. Nothing Schiff said was in any way related to anything President Trump actually stated in his call.
Since Schiff has established a precedent for free-lance interpretations of other people’s conversations, we at the Council of Conservative Citizens have undertaken to “interpret” Congressman Schiff’s so-called “parody.” This is a subjective interpretation and entirely our OPINION.)
INTERPRETING ADAM SCHIFF: “As a Jewish communist and a queer, I am biologically and psychologically incapable of telling the truth. As such, mendacity, prevarication and other forms of lying are my stock-in-trade. It is no coincidence that I can trace my ancestry all the way back to the serpent in the Garden of Eden.
This was evident over the past two years when I publicly alleged approximately 250 times that I had seen “conclusive evidence” of President Trump having engaged in a “collusion” with Russia to influence the 2016 General Election. This was a clear example of my emotional instability and lack of fitness for office, because I knew for a fact that no such evidence existed.
I know in my heart of hearts that my parody of President Trump’s telephone conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky was fraudulent and inappropriate. However, I recognized two things at the time: First, the vast majority of “Democrats” are too stupid and ignorant to understand what a “parody” is.
Secondly, I knew that the other communist Jews, nigros, homos, Muslims, bitter feminists and Third World garbage — who ARE the “Democrat” Party — won’t care that I engaged in parody, nor will they care about my personal attempts at “creative license”: They will accept my personal interpretations as accurate, owing to “Trump Derangement Syndrome” or some other form of mental illness.
Finally, I feel it only appropriate that I come clean and reveal another truth about myself: I have carried on a romantic relationship with one of my neighbor’s male goats for the past seven years. We are so truly in love, however, that we are not interested in the disapproval of bigoted Christians, conservatives or Republicans who refuse to acknowledge our truly loving relationship. We plan to marry.
2 thoughts on “Interpreting Adam Schiff:”
Too funny! Rumor is that Adam Schiff was conceived on the extraterrestrial spacecraft following Comet Hale–Bopp. Schiff’s eyes definitely have a canny resemblance to Marshall Applewhite. Coincidence?
Maybe the delusional nature of both drove them to hypo-thyroidism…